Gas Station Gold

I don't know how to put this lightly or in a politically correct manner so I'm just going to throw it out there. I work in the fucking ghetto. The offices have been there since, I don't know, forever or something and the area has gotten bad. Usually I try to not wander outside of the offices too much but sometimes you just have to. Today I had to go down the street to the Valero station to get cigarettes and a Mountain Dew White Out(hell yeah!). I was feeling footloose and fancy free since it's Friday. So as I made my way back up to the register I was greeted by a rack with a large sign that said "SALE-$9.99". "SHIT", I thought to myself, "I want me a piece of whatever is on sale." So I look on the rack and hanging there, in all of its loc'ed out hoodrat glory, are some thug nasty tall tees with popular cartoon characters on them, except they aren't the characters we know and love. They're ghetto. Since I already love buying shit at gas stations, I knew I had to get one. I picked out the one with Stewie and his beloved pet dog. No, not Brian. That's pussy shit. He is restraining KILLA. His pitbull. I paid for my shit and quickly left because a real life thug was behind me in line and I didn't want him to see what shirt I was buying. Because then he might try to copy me.